Pitch Dish

Who’d be the last man standing if every player on your team had a fight?

There was a hilarious question posted to reddit where users suppose which player on their team would win in a massive team brawl.

This is a selection of our favorite comments below (you can click through at the bottom to read the full massive thread).

Who on your team would win in a brawl?


Nobody, they’d all get injured for 3 months – Kintae


I get the feeling it would turn out to be Masche and Mathieu, standing among the mangled corpses, nodding at each other as if to say “I know I can kill you, I know you can kill me, let’s leave it at that” Mathieu looks like a complete maniac and his defensive style confirms he probably is one. – everlastingdick

Bayern Munich

I guess somehow Müller would make it. He just dodges or is nowhere to be found until it’s over. – DannyKII


Ivanovic. He has the deep, cold eyes of a gang hitman


But, I’ll say Bonucci. He puts his life on the line almost as often as Chiellini and is tough enough to escape unfazed. But most importantly, someone once threatened him and his family with a freaking gun and he promptly beat the sh** out of them and chased them for four blocks when they tried getting away on a Vespa, yelling “stop chasing us I’ll shoot you!”. There’s no substitute for balls the size of bean bags and being as crazy as Martin Riggs. – Cee-Mon

Manchester United

Rooney reckons he could’ve been a professional boxer and Fellaini appears to have the coordination of a hippo

Jones would go into beast mode, misplace a pass punch and then completely wipe out, injuring himself for at least 3 months. – dugness

Real Madrid

In a true, no-holds-barred fight, craziness trumps all. So I’d put a wager on Pepe. – Cee-Mon

West Ham

James Collins looks like he’d have retard strength, so him. – DrRobotTheRobotDr

Read More: reddit.com

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